In our previous post,( https://qxplore.com/how-being-kind-to-yourself-can-change-everything/ ), we explored what self-compassion is, why it matters, and how it can have a profoundly positive impact on your emotional well-being, relationships, and overall mental health. But understanding self-compassion is just the first step. The real change occurs when you begin to put it into practice, especially in the moments when it feels the most challenging. Whether you’re dealing with failure, self-doubt, or overwhelming stress, learning how to treat yourself with care instead of criticism can be life-changing. Below are seven simple but meaningful ways to start practicing self-compassion in your everyday life.
How to Practice Self-Compassion in Seven Steps
Self-compassion may feel unfamiliar at first, but the more you practice, the more natural it becomes. Here’s how to get started:
- Understand your inner voice: Take some time to try to really notice the way you talk to yourself. Would you speak to a friend the way you speak to yourself? If no, try phrases like: “It’s okay to feel this way,” “I’m doing the best I can,” or “Everyone struggles sometimes.”
- Write to yourself: Take some time when you feel you need it to write a compassionate letter to yourself about something you’re struggling with. Try to be as understanding and encouraging as you would be if you were speaking with a close friend.
- Catch critical thoughts: When you catch yourself saying things like “I’m such a failure” or “How could I have messed that up this badly?” reframe it. Instead, try saying, “I made a mistake, but I can learn from it.”
- Use supportive touch: Place a hand over your heart, hug yourself, or gently press your palms together. Physical gestures like these can activate your brain’s calming system.
- Practice mindfulness: Tune into your emotions without judgment. Acknowledge your thoughts and feelings, but make sure not to get caught up and fixate on them.
- Celebrate small wins: Instead of focusing only on what to fix or what’s left to do, acknowledge and appreciate what you have already completed. Small efforts count.
- Set boundaries: Part of self-compassion is protecting your time and energy. Saying no is sometimes the kindest thing you can do for yourself.
If Self-Compassion Feels Difficult…
For some, being kind to themselves brings up discomfort or even fear. If warmth and closeness have felt unsafe in the past, perhaps due to childhood trauma, neglect, or past experiences of rejection, then self-compassion might feel threatening at first. This is common and not a sign of failure.
Working with a therapist, especially one trained in Compassion-Focused Therapy, can be helpful. They can guide you through the blocks and help you find a gentler way to relate to yourself
A Gentle Reminder as You Move Forward
Practicing self-compassion isn’t about being soft or letting yourself off the hook—it’s about learning to support yourself through struggle, just as you would a loved one. It takes time and intention, especially if you’re used to being hard on yourself, but it is possible. Every time you respond to your pain with understanding instead of judgment, you’re building emotional strength and healing from the inside out. With practice, self-compassion can become not only a habit but a powerful source of resilience, growth, and peace.
References:
Bihary, M. (2025, January 3). The importance of Self-Compassion during Challenging Times — Michelle Bihary Health. Michelle Bihary Health. https://michellebiharyhealth.com/blog/the-importance-of-self-compassion
Coelho, S., & Smith, J. (2022, September 7). The benefits of Self-Compassion. Psych Central. https://psychcentral.com/blog/practicing-self-compassion-when-you-have-a-mental-illness
Mindfulness & Clinical Psychology Solutions. (2025, June 2). The benefits of Self-Compassion. https://mi-psych.com.au/the-benefits-of-self-compassion/
Neff, K. D. (2009). The role of Self-Compassion in Development: A Healthier Way to Relate to oneself. Human Development, 52(4), 211–214. https://doi.org/10.1159/000215071
Novapsychology. (2024, September 9). The Psychology of Self-Compassion. NOVA Psychology. https://novapsychology.ca/the-psychology-of-self-compassion/
Portt, E. (2019, October 21). The Value of Self-Compassion. Qxplore Group. https://qxplore.com/fall-2019/
Roberts, E. (2021, August 22). The importance of Self-Compassion. Hartstein Psychological Services. https://hartsteinpsychological.com/importance-self-compassion