Have you ever had difficulties communicating with co-workers, or felt that your message was not getting across in the workplace? If we have difficulties communicating with others we may lose out on the opportunity to develop strong working relationships with our colleagues and experience a sense of job satisfaction.
Communication isn’t just about what you verbalize. Have you ever had someone tell you “I’m not mad” through gritted teeth while their body is clenched? Obviously there is more to the story than what that person is telling you. When we communicate a message to someone, the majority of this communication comes across nonverbally. In order to be effective communicators in the workplace it is important to pay attention not only to what we say, but how we say it. Some nonverbal communication components include the tone and volume of your voice, your body posture, and the degree of eye contact you use. Communication isn’t only about getting a message across, but also about receiving messages. How are your listening skills?
People tend to have more success in communicating with others when they actively listen to what is being said. Active listening involves nonverbal and verbal skills. Have you ever tried to talk to someone at work while they are typing at the computer? Did you feel that you were truly being listened to? When we face our coworkers with an open posture, give eye contact, and use encouragers such as head nodding, coworkers will likely to want to communicate more with us. Skills such as paraphrasing, where you restate the essence of what has been said, and using clarifying questions in order to understand another’s position, help us to ensure we have heard and understood what is being said before we respond.
Sometimes if there is a workplace conflict, or an issue that we feel strongly about, we may get caught up in our emotions and our communication skills can become less than professional. When there is conflict or you feel your emotions are running high, here are some helpful points to remember:
- Take a break. Most people are okay when you tell them that you need to think about something before you respond. Do something to clear your head, such as going for a quick walk or taking a few deep breaths. Wait until you have calmed down before you return to the conversation.
- If someone is doing something that is upsetting to you, separate the behaviour from the person. Telling someone that you were upset by how they responded to you will be better received than criticizing their character.
- Avoid using “you” statements that distance you from your feelings. Instead, use statements that begin with “I feel ______”. Avoid using “you” statements that accuse. Many people interpret statements that begin with “you” as blaming and often become defensive in response.
These are skills that anyone can learn-it just takes practice! Communication skills can develop with the help of others. There are many available books out there and EAP counsellors can be helpful communication coaches.