Spring 2020

Spring 2020

 
Employee Assistance Newsletter Spring 2020
Mental Rehearsal: A way to Perform at Your Best by Preparing for the Worst

Bob Kitcher, M.A., RP

A couple of Gems on Administration and Planning
Channeling Alfred Adler

Patience Hill-Berardi, B.Sc., M.Psy., RP

WELCOME TO OUR SPRING 2020 NEWSLETTER

Winter is (more or less) over and we are all in spring-cleaning mode or at least know we should be! Spring is a time of renewal and growth, and if you have put off some issues over the cold, dark and dreary winter, Spring is a perfect time to address them before the idyllic days of Summer.

If you or a family member are struggling with a workplace or family issue; money problems; relationship issues; feeling anxious, depressed or stressed; experiencing grief, loss or bereavement; or concerned about a child’s behaviour, your Employee Assistance Program can help. If you have any questions about your EAP or about who might be best to help address your specific issues, feel free to discuss this with our reception at any time.

Mental Rehearsal: A Way to Perform at Your Best by Preparing for the Worst Bob Kitcher, M.A., RP

 
Mental rehersal article by Qxplore
The Classic 1952 book The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale is “a practical guide to mastering the problems of everyday living” and provides timeless advice for both surviving this life and getting ahead. Mental Rehearsal is a way to supplement positive affirmation by using “defensive pessimism” to develop strategies to think through ways of being successful by also imagining what might go wrong. Mental Rehearsal can be used by team managers and athletes to anticipate their opponent’s defensive actions; generals to develop contingency plans; CEOs to plan for union strikes; ex-partners to address the divorce court; students preparing for exams; and speakers to engage their audience.
MENTAL REHEARSAL PROCESS
  • Worrying about the future is normal so the first step in Mental Rehearsal is acknowledging your feelings of anticipation, fear and anxiety.
  • Next, lock yourself away somewhere quiet, without distractions, do a mental run through of the situation and mentally visualize every way that things could go wrong, and write each down in a brief note. This process reduces your general anxiety and provides you with a concrete “anxiety” to do list.
  • Now for each item on the list, come up with the best way to deal with it. Having multiple solutions is more effective. The more potential solutions, the more creative and adaptive your response.
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  • Follow this with a Mental Rehearsal for each potential solution and rehearse a few times until you don’t need your notes. With practice, the rehearsal can be done quickly by focusing on the key elements. By this time, you will notice that your anxiety has gone way down as your contingency plans are put into place.
  • Prepare yourself further by adding other detail elements into the visualization, add people, the environment, your posture and clothes, colour, sounds, smells and feelings. Most important is to bring feelings into your rehearsal so that you are engaging both sides of your brain. Rehearse until it is second nature and you know you can deal with any contingency.
  • Dress Rehearsal Time. Just before the big event, go through your Mental Rehearsal one more time and visualize everything going perfectly. Infuse yourself with enthusiasm and positive energy.
This may seem like an awful lot of work, and it might be at first. But with a little practice, for everyday events like tennis games, presentations, exams, meeting the in-laws, a first date, or a trip to the dentist, doing a Mental Rehearsal can be done quite fast and will soon become second nature. Learning the process will be a benefit for your whole life.

BIG EVENT PLANNING

If you are the Coach of a football team, a teacher planning a school field trip, a CEO planning a major takeover, a General planning for a major battle, a lawyer preparing for court, or a couple planning a big wedding, personal Mental Rehearsal can be an essential part of developing your plan. But so will “Team” Mental Rehearsal as you prepare your team for the big event making sure that you plan together, worry together, rehearse together, and then work together, as “a lean mean fighting machine”.

Bob Kitcher, M.A. RP is the Managing Director of the Qxplore Group of companies which includes Quinte Counselling Services, Quinte Assessment and Treatment Group and Qxplore Inc.

Did you know...

→Appointments are scheduled at a time that is convenient for you and usually within two to three days?
→No one at your place of employment will know that you have used your EAP unless you tell them?
→Counselling is provided for a broad range of services, including marital and relationship; parenting; stress; separation/divorce trauma; workplace; and personal issues?
→Counsellors can help you access community resources and support groups?
→A comprehensive description of the services provided through your EAP is available through your EAP brochure or on our website at www.qxplore.com?
Administration gems article by Qxplore

A Couple of Gems on Administration and Planning

Excerpted from: “You Look Like I Need a Drink”: Comments Before the National Association of Chain Drug Stores, April 24, 2017, The Phoenician Resort, Scottsdale, AZ By Richard Fisher, Former President and CEO of the Federal Reserve of Dallas

Six hundred miles west of Norway there is a communications station on Jan Meyen Island where 17 hearty members of Norway’s Special Forces tracked Soviet submarines. If you read Tom Clancy’s Hunt for Red October, you would know it as “Loran C”. If you played the video game Tomb Raider, you would recall that Lara Croft – played by Angelina Jolie in the film version – visits Jan Meyen in search of Thor’s Hammer, considered the most awesome weapon in Norse mythology, capable of leveling mountains and performing the most heroic of feats. When you arrive on the island you are greeted with this sign: Translated it reads:

Theory is when you understand everything, but nothing works; Practice is when everything works, but nobody understands why. At this station, theory and practice are united: nothing works, and nobody understands why

One of the greatest modern economists was Kenneth Arrow. During WWII he served as a weather forecasting officer in the U.S. Army Air Corps, assigned the difficult task of producing month ahead weather forecasts as the date for Omaha Beach approached. A thorough man, he had his team review the accuracy of his forecasts: they confirmed statistically that they were no more accurate than random rolls of dice. So, he cabled the High Command, to be relieved of this seemingly futile duty. Arrow’s recollection of his superior’s response was priceless: “The commanding general is well aware that the forecasts are no good. However, he needs them for planning purposes.”
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Channelling Alfred Adler Patience Hill-Berardi, B.Sc., M.Psy., RP

As a clinician, I mainly practice from an Adlerian perspective. Most people have never heard of Alfred Adler despite establishing one of the three frameworks from which all psychological therapeutic styles derive. It is my personal belief that the Adlerian framework did not become as famous as others because of two main reasons; first, Adler spent more time in coffee shops with people explaining his theories than he did writing about them, and second, a lot of his theories feel so ‘obvious’ or ‘right’ that you just don’t realise that they are part of a psychological framework. Should you care about the clinician’s framework? In my opinion, yes! We are all individuals, which means we will not always click with other people. Psychotherapeutic style will affect whether the client feels comfortable and wants to continue seeing the therapist. Having a basic understanding of Adler’s theories will help you to determine whether a clinician, such as myself, is right for you!

Adler: Human life is movement and humans are social beings where that movement happens in a social setting. Every thought, feeling, and action happens on a social plane between oneself and others.

We are not able to live separately from other people and what we do, or do not do, affects them. Just as what other people do, or do not do, affects us. We have written and unwritten rules in society, which may differ over time and cultures, but as a whole, we agree not to hurt each other. We also keep those most similar to us closer than those who have different values and beliefs.

Adler: We are cognitive beings that can grasp the existence of a future and therefore able to create a plan and act on those plans. Plans can be based on values, assumptions, ideas and beliefs, which can be conscious or unconscious. The brain is the decisionmaker, planner, and creator; it controls your movement. However, movement is not based on factual data, but on how you, the individual, cognitively interprets that data.

Perception is something we tackle often in sessions. We are all guilty of only seeing our own perspective. Take siblings’ memories of a parent as an example. The firstborn will have experienced their father for years before their younger sibling was born. The firstborn got all their father’s energy and attention… but the second born always had to share their father. The second-born remembers their father differently based on their own perception and experiences. Neither sibling is wrong in their perception but might substantially differ in their memory of the facts.

Adler: It is the future and not the past that determines the present. There is no movement in your life without a goal or direction. All actions (mental, emotional, and practical) are social and goaloriented.

I am very goal-oriented in my personal life, but also in session. Realistically, why come to therapy if not for a goal? Maybe you are coming for a change in behaviour, to make a decision, to better understand yourself, to work on a relationship, to vent safely… regardless of the reason, there is always a goal!

Adler: We are whole beings whose feelings and thoughts are based on our lifestyle. Every emotion, thought, action, urge, instinct, or opinion is subject to your goals which are based on your own reality, assumptions, and beliefs.

Holism is very important to me and I bring that into my practice. The fact is, everything we do, or do not do, affects our physical and mental wellbeing. If we do not eat nutritiously or sleep adequately, our brain will not be able to support our mental health journey. I believe we have to treat the whole person, not just bits and pieces.

Adler: We are our own creator- the responsibility for the way we live is on us. But sometimes, as we grow, we create a lifestyle based on mistaken fears, values and beliefs which our private logic considers to be the truth.

As a psychotherapist, I can help modify the unhealthy and mistaken private logic that is causing your negative beliefs, values, thoughts, feelings, and behaviours.

Adler: Neurosis is based on inferior feelings, over-ambition for superiority, poorly developed social interest, and the need to meet life’s goals combined with an inability to reach those goals. Neurosis as a creative solution on the useless side of life!

In therapy, neurosis is treated through encouragement, psychoeducation, support in the development of social interest, analysing client’s basic assumptions, and helping clients find ways to cope with life tasks. I am a clinician who is extremely authentic in session. I approach every client differently, as we are all individuals and there is not a ‘one-size-fits-all’ approach to therapy. I build sessions around encouragement, motivation, skill-building, psychoeducation, traumaprocessing and reframing while, when appropriate, calling you out on your detrimental thoughts or behaviours. Understanding yourself is a priority goal in therapy. The more you understand and accept yourself, and recognise why you behave the way you do, the more likely it is you will be able to adjust your behaviours towards a more beneficial direction.

Patience Hill-Berardi is a Registered Psychotherapist who provides services through the EAP, Blue Cross, Health Canada-EASAE, Veteran’s Affairs Canada, VQRP, and privately. Patience works with adolescents, adults, veterans, and couples. She has extensive experience working with depression, anxiety, PTSD, anger, and relationship/attachment issues

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