During the fall and early winter we receive many referrals from parents concerned about their child’s anxiety, particularly related to the new school year, new curriculum, new teachers, and new classmates. We have put together some ideas to help you assist your children through this difficult transition.
The first thing to do is ensure that you are connected to your child. Try to have an open relationship which promotes communication so you are aware of what is going on in your child’s life. Ensuring that your children feel heard when they talk will encourage them to let you in and keep talking.
If your child lets you know that he or she is worried or afraid of something to do with school, make sure to acknowledge and not disregard that worry or fear. Help them to know that they are not alone and that everyone worries a little bit at the start of the school year, even teachers and parents. Especially parents!
Remind your child of past successes when he or she was able to attend school or a school like setting and did well. Remind your child that he or she had been nervous in the past but had made it through and been successful.
Help your child tell you about the specific things that they are worried or scared about and then help break the issue down into smaller more manageable pieces and problem solve those smaller issues.
If you think that your child is having learning, attention, behavioural or emotional difficulties which are interfering with school success then it might be good to talk to your child’s teacher or your EAP counsellor about a Psychoeducational assessment.
Parents can also help ease their children into new situations by planning in advance. If you know that your child gets nervous before change or new situations like new events at the beginning of the school year, try to help manage this by preparing as much as possible. Meet with the teacher during the first few weeks of the school year and talk about what is to be expected and to address any concerns that you or your child may have. Attending school events with your child will also build on your connection to their world and lead to a greater sense of confidence and understanding when discussing issues with you.
Each time that your child is successful at being brave, no matter how small, ensure that you praise them. Let your child know that you are proud of the progress they are making. You are then reinforcing moments of success that you can draw upon in future situations to remind your child that he or she can and will be successful again.
If you think that you or your child need some help dealing with school or other developmental issues contact your EAP counsellor and arrange for a confidential appointment to talk about the options available to you.
Tanya Clemens has a Masters in Social Work and is a Registered Social Worker who provides therapy to children and adults through our Employee Assistance Program.